DO YOU FORGET TO FOCUS ON YOUR GOALS?

Life happens. It happens big. And it can be distracting. Other people rely on you. Things happen outside of your control. And usually not just once. But a lot. In fact, that is really what life is. A series of events that happens – many of which we can’t control. And if we aren’t careful, we can let all the things that happen derail us from what we really want.

I get asked all the time “How do I stay on track and not get caught up?”

Caught up in what?

Work.
Family.
Life.
Drama.
A relationship.
Assignment.

Etc.

The key thing is to make a daily practice of remembering what you want. But not just the goals that you want. The feelings that you want to feel.

For the most part – we are emotional creatures. All the goals we set, we set because we want to feel a certain way. This has been one of the core ideas I’ve been teaching for years. The problem is that many of us go about trying to get the things we want, so we can feel the way we want to feel – in a backwards way.

We show in life to take, rather than give. We try to stress ourselves to peace. Or lack our way to abundance. Or resent our way to joy. It doesn’t work. When you think about the goals you want to set – ask yourself – what are the feelings you are actually going for?

Perhaps the finances you want to create are because you want to feel protected and free.

Perhaps you want the relationship so that you can feel love and connection.

Maybe you want the start a business so you can feel worthy. And all these are wonderful things. But, we must look at the means to our end. We must start from where we want to end, instead of the other way around.

So, look at your goals. Try to find the emotions you are looking for in setting your goals.

DON’T GIVE UP ON LOVE

Many times we wish and wish for the right person to come into our lives. We don’t seem to understand why it’s not working out with others. We end up in toxic, unloving relationships, and deep down know something better is out there. 

The challenge is, when something better does come along, to not run away.

After years of disappointment, heart break and unhappy endings, it can be very easy to close down on real love. No matter what, don’t’ let that happen! Remember, strength in the muscles of your body is created by your muscles being ripped apart, and then rebuilt. Your heart and your emotional intelligence and fitness operate the same way. It is easy to close down after you’ve been hurt. It’s easy to throw a wrench into real love when it comes. I understand it’s scary, but WHO CARES

Move forward in spite of your fear. Move forward INTO the scariness of it all. Be courageous. Don’t let fear win. OPEN UP anyway. The risk of not opening, in the end, is far worse than the risk of opening.

Don’t let love pass you by. Don’t let fear win.

NO! Instead, let love win. Open up, even when, you are afraid. Open up, even when you are scared of getting hurt. Open up, even when you don’t know what’s going to happen.

I am not suggesting that you open up to the first person who comes along. No. I am not suggesting that at all. I am suggesting that when you have a connection with someone, when you feel it, when you are so scared of how much you feel it, go in the opposite direction of your fear. Do not be afraid of the love you feel.

KNOW THIS: The right person will meet you. The right person will show up. But they can’t if you don’t open.

Learn to value openness and rebuilding your heart more than safety. Don’t let the wounds of the past create a wounded future. No. It can be different. Love can be yours. But first you must be open to it. Learn how to be more loving from your past pain, not how to be more closed.

Don’t give up on love, no, give IN TO love!

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

I’m always amazed at how topics for my weekly blog find me. Until yesterday, I came out this blog after talked with my brother. He said, “You know most people are waiting for life to happen to them, but they don’t realize that it’s life that’s happening right now.” BANG – my mind blown.

Brother and I chatted for another 30 minutes, but I couldn't stop thinking about what he had said to me. I thought back to all the times that I had waited for life to happen for me. I was waiting for a sign from God or Life or The Uni-verse. And then one day I realized that what I was waiting for is what was doing the waiting. I thought that I needed some permission from life or some authority figure to start living my life.

We don’t want to get to a place where we had wished we hadn't waited. Here’s a guy that just took action, not waiting for life. And let’s think about this, what has waiting cost us? What has waiting for a sign actually cost us in terms of wasted time, lost opportunity and perhaps months, years of decades of wondering “What would have happened if I had tried?”

This is the worst kind of outcome I can imagine – to life a life full of regret. My deep wish for you, since you are reading this blog at this moment, is to not live life with regret, but instead full of fears faced. Life is scary. Taking risks is scary. Bad things have happened in the past that we don’t want to re-live. And yet, it’s coming to terms with these things that make us come fully alive.

There is a very fine line between excitement and anxiety. The only difference being anxiety has a negative perception of the future outcome and excitement has a positive anticipation for the future outcome.

So what if it was true that what you are waiting for is to realize that part of yourself that is doing the waiting? What if you didn’t need approval or the blessing of someone or something outside yourself?

If that were true, what would you be doing – right now?

“It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.”

My friend, Dan he is currently an Amway distributor. Amway is a well-known direct market in Malaysia and anyone who is Amway high level of distributor sure has their own story behind the bitterness to get success.

I don’t know what the level Dan achieved now is, he invited me to attend a talk at his Amway training center which located at Old Klang road. A super inspire talk by their diamond level distributor named Dr. Lee. Dr Lee is a veterinarian. He started Amway business since he was persuaded by his partner who is his spouse now. He talked about the process how they two achieve the target.

But I personally don’t like direct marketing because they are implement the pyramid system which it is an unsustainable business model that involves promising participants payment or services, primarily for enrolling other people into the scheme, rather than supplying any real investment or sale of products or services to the public. It is just my personal view, no violation of meaning.

I agree that “if you don’t build your dream, someone else will hire you to help them build theirs” said by Dr. Lee. We can make our dreams come true by ourselves. If you cannot make your own dream because of laziness and give up easily when facing problems, your dream will not ever realize.

“If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut” 
― Albert Einstein

“If I knew then what I know now?"

“If I knew then what I know now?" is a phrase that takes on more meaning when you are regret on something. Why I said so? Because I feel so guilty that I had wasted 4 weeks time on relaxing bring about lots of assignments' deadline are nearly approaching and I have not started yet! 

This semester I took 6 subjects and 2 out of 6 are full coursework. Although I always remind myself that I must do the assignment according to the time table, but then at last I always burning the midnight oil to rush and complete the assignment before the day of assignment deadline. After revealed my assignment marks was low, I will keep blaming to myself because of the laziness and have to study hard for final to get pass! 

I think 10 out of 10 of UTARians sure have this bad habit! ALWAYS LAST MINUTES WORK! Last week during Dr GV tutorial class, he wanted we show him the draft of individual management principle assignment, but nobody stand out and show him because no one started this assignment yet! Then Dr GV told lots of things that we shouldn't always last minutes work. He said lecturers are always trying to help us but the problem is students ungrateful. I don't mind he said like that, maybe its true? 

  I always force myself to change these bad habits but failed. 'A leopard cannot change its spot' like we cannot change our human nature. If you really want to change, it's takes long time. During that period is like a war between our determinations to fight with bad habits. If you’re a very strong determination person, I’m sure you can do it. Because failure will never overtake the person if his/her determination to succeed is strong. 

 For people like me weak always do things in brief period of enthusiasm sure will take longer times to goal compared to aggressive people. The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand.